There was this turtle. He was all liek "Omg I'm a turtle so I am liek more awesome than you!" So people didn't really liek him. Then a giant monster ate him and his family was devastated. His mother went around asking for money for the funeral but no one wanted to because no one lieked him. Finally a nice old man gave her money because he said that Mr.Turtle saved him from dying in 'nam. "How can that be possible?" said Mr.Turtle's mom. He said "he had a time machine and went back in the past to help people, the only way he could do this is if he swore to be snotty to present-time people. She was all liek "oh."
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